Next Time, I'll Buy Something Myself.

My husband bought me a telescope for Christmas.

Do I really have to say much more than that?

I think the rule of thumb is if it comes in a box so large that you run out of wrapping paper it's probably a bad idea (unless it's a car, or a fur coat, but obviously there are always exceptions to any rule).

To be completely fair I had said (a week or so before the big day) that "we" should get a telescope. But it was more meant in the "we" as in "the family" (i.e., for our daughter, etc.) not like "we" should get a diamond tennis bracelet. That would have been more of a suggestive "we", rather than a "we" as in not "me".

Sometimes Wives Do Stupid Things Too

The other day I was out at a farm market with a friend. There was a giant display of fresh made potato chips, all neatly arranged in white paper bags. My friend said the chips were really good, so I thought I'd buy a bag.

They had Plain, Barbeque and Sweet. It should be known that I hadn't had much sleep the night before.

I saw the sign for the "Sweet" chips and asked my friend if they're any good. Her reply was that she likes them. In my brain I thought: "Gee, I wonder what they're like? Maybe they've got a dusting of sugar?"

It wasn't until I got home and opened the bag and saw a pile of sad, saggy orange chips that it dawned on me that they were SWEET POTATO (aka YAM) chips, not "Sweet" Potato Chips.

Yeah. It was one of those days. I think this is clear evidence that one never quite recovers from those brain cells lost during Pregnancy. At least my feet went back to being their right size.

BIRTHING 101.......The Horror stories continue....

Atleast Cheri's Husband appeared to actually be at the hospital when her daughter's were born....

I was dropped off and later told....

"Hey, they didn't have a New Father's Waiting Room.....

I wasn't about to sit in the emergancy room with sick and injured people...."

Okay.

Outside the labor room....

My Mother.....My Next door neighbor....the Best friend.....

Home sound asleep....

The husband....

to add insult to injury....
it was my Birthday!

cartoon by: newlifemidwifery.org...

File Under: Twin Cemetery Plots

A few years ago my Husband says to me very earnestly: "When we're old, I hope that you die first. I think i could handle being alone better than you could."

Thanks for the sentiment, but I think that between death and being alone, I'll take alone.

In fact, I already have a cruise booked.

Commando Gardening

(Our second email contribution, thanks to Necie!!)

I did most of the yard and garden work at the homestead until I blew a couple of discs in my neck. The commander was forced to take over the outside work. He found an easy way to control the weeds growing in the lawn by using a product you attach to your hose to spray the chemical. That worked well. He also sprayed the weed killer in the pine island, on the shrubs and well...everything. We lost most of the shrubs. I thought we would lose a 10 year old Japanese maple, but only the limbs close to the ground died. It now looks like a large Japanese maple mushroom.

Birthing 101.... the Hubby Didn't Get The Memo On Labor

Here's our first story sent in by an email contributor, Cheri:

I was reading the post on “It’s Hereditary” and it brought me back to the birth of our first child.
We were living in NC at the time, far from family and friends. It was a couple nights before my due date when we went to Pizza Hut for dinner and I was invited to a make-up party, the girls there were kidding me that they were getting me all “dolled up“ for the hospital... Well little did everyone know that that wasn’t a joke. We got home around 11:00 PM and before going to bed hubby asks me if I think we will be going to the hospital tonight because if I thought we were, he wasn’t going to go to sleep. How the heck do I know... I hadn’t had any contractions... so I told him to go to sleep. Well about 1:00 AM they started coming fast and furious. I couldn’t tell when one ended and the next one started. Woke up hubby to start timing and because we couldn’t tell when one started and ended (they just seem to run into one another) he decided to go back to sleep. Who does this??? This is our FIRST child. After a bit I woke him again and we called the Dr., Dr. asked “why are you calling me, get to the hospital.” So in my nightgown, bed raggled hair I grab my suitcase and go to the front door and hubby hollars to me, “Do I have time to take a shower?” Sure, honey I’ll just wait by the front door for ya... Are you kidding me! He took that literally and went to take a shower (I guess he wanted to be the best smelling new daddy at the hospital... like anyone cares). The hospital was only about 4 miles from our house (thank God), we parked and as we were walking to the ER I had several contractions, had to stop in the parking lot because I could not take another step, did he get me a wheel chair... Ahh ... No. Gradually we did make it. I was put in the wheel chair, wheeled up to Delivery and was told that I was so far dilated by the time we arrived at the hospital that they couldn’t give me anything and I would have to do natural child birth... All I can say is my hubby was darn lucky that that was our plan (natural child birth) or he might have been in the bed next to me with his own injuries. Fours after my first pang our daughter was born.

Now it doesn’t stop there...

We had two more children and baby number 2 hubby had to stop when he saw one of his line men working and chat about whatever while on our way to the hospital, does the man not learn? Two hours later daughter #2 was born and the Dr. had warned us that because baby #1 came within 4 hours that each pregnancy would probably be faster.

He finally learned at baby number 3 but that was only because I had a Dr. appt., went into labor on the exam table and the hospital was right next door; if it wasn’t, I am sure hubby would have found someone to talk to on our way to the hospital. And yes, daughter #3 was born in 2 hours.
Our girls were good to me with easy labor and delivery... Unlike hubby who apparently wasn’t feeling any sympathy pains for me.

Thirty one years later and I am still married to the man

Crop Circles

We've got a pool with a nice concrete patio around it. We've also got a toddler, which means in the summertime, a kiddie pool. My Husband, ever concerned with lawn care, placed the kiddie pool on the concrete patio, *right next* to the deep end of the pool. Now, being a Mom, I saw many potential dangers in this arrangement. Obviously, the proximity to the deep end is a clear problem, but also knowing that toddlers are not the most coordinated lot on the planet, I could visualize endless slips and falls onto the concrete while said toddler is trying to climb in and out of the kiddie pool (which of course, to my child, the climbing in and out of the pool is as much fun, if not more fun, than actually being in the pool).

Why didn't my Husband put it on the lawn, like we had last year, and where it would at least be a *little* bit less of an open water hazard? He didn't want it making a kiddie-pool shaped depression on the lawn. Thanks, Hon!

Needless to say, I moved it.