What Would Bill Cosby Think?

Yesterday I went grocery shopping and as part of my order I picked up a six pack of Jell-O Pudding cups.

Chocolate Jell-O Pudding cups.

I'm trying to be good, but I figured that the Husband would want one and I'd be able to snag a spoonful when he endulged.

After dinner, he made no mention of the pudding. I didn't want to have a whole cup myself, so I went upstairs to get ready for bed, slightly sad to have had no pudding.

This morning? I'm down in the kitchen and what do I see in the fridge (or should I say, what don't I see in the fridge?) five pudding cups. When I go to toss something in the compactor, there is the hard evidence: an empty cup.

Sure, the Husband brought up a nasty old bag of pretzels when he retired to the bedroom, but all signs would point to him having consumed a pudding cup all by his lonesome down in the kitchen sometime during the night.

Marital rule of thumb? Always share chocolate!!!!!

And What About a Nap for Mom?

Today my Husband came into the kitchen (closely followed by our toddler) and said:

"I guess this is why people have two children. So they can play together and let their Dad nap."

Uh, huh, and exactly when would Mom be taking a nap in this scenario? (Certainly not while Dad is at work and she's home taking care of *two* children!)

I guess on the basis of this reasoning that Duggar guy must be getting a lot of extra sleep.

Oh, to be Six Again....

This great story is courtesy of Cheri:

To Be 6 Again...

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall Of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside Down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked:

'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.

Washer/Dryer... aren't they supposed to be in *THAT* Order???

Cheri asks:

What husband does this? Shouldn’t the washer be on the other side of the dryer so moving clothes to dry would be easier? I guess we can tell who doesn’t do the laundry in this house.

Some Christmas Stories from Cheri!

Gave husband money to go Christmas shopping for me, but let me back up and say that $125.00 for us back about 20 years ago was quite a chunk of change for us, so I left him to challenge the Mall and see what wonderful goodies would await me on Christmas morning... I got a long night gown, OK good so far, but after many presents later that were from parents and siblings I had wondered how a night gown could cost $125.00. To my surprise, my hubby, decided to buy himself a gun, so all of my gifts ended up in his gun collection.

Another year just about everything he bought me was in camo, too bad that wasn’t the fashion that year. Now don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against a woman wearing camo but there has NEVER been a time that I have ever had the need to wear it. So suffice to say, my girls do his shopping for him and let him know what he owes them. Personally I think this was his plan all along so he could get out of going to the Mall.

Real or Fake?

The Husband and I got our Christmas Tree the other day. It's a live tree and he kept going on and on about how fresh it is. How the needles are all still soft.

He put it up and we decorated it.

The next day I asked: "Have you watered the tree yet?"

"No. I don't think it makes a difference."

Now we basically have a decorated, electrified tinder-waiting-to-happen in our family room.

Of course it doesn't matter! They just put that water receptacle in the base of the tree stand for looks!

HUSBANDS MASTERING A FOREIGN LANGUAGE....

On a trip to Germany back in 1970 we had the pleasure of staying at a fancy hotel in Munich....

The room up on the top floor had sloped ceilings a marble bath complete with

a telephone and a beautiful big glass top table...

Actually our room was up in the attic......but we were 20 and 21....What did we know.

After checking in the husband decided we needed some drinks and back in the

70's they didn't have soda machines down the hall.....

So in his best German he attempted to order room service...

He picks up the phone and this is what I hear.....

"I would like zwei Cola-Cola mit ice-n"

translation.....2 Cokes with ice.

why is it when people try to speak another language they tend to add

letters onto English words....

Have you ever heard anyone trying to speak Spanish....

the letter "O" usually gets added to the end of everything.....

Like this is going to make the poor person understand you better...

In this case Coca-Cola became Cola-Cola.....like a college cheer

and the letter "N" got added to ice.....

Room service guy shows up a few minutes later with 2 little glass coke bottles...

2 glasses of "ice-n"....on a tray and places it on the glass table.....

Gives us a look like we're two American nuts and leaves....

I'm hysterical by this point just from hearing Cola-Cola....

Husband picks up the Coke bottle and it promptly slides out of his hand....

Falling on the glass table and shattering the glass in a million pieces....

next morning we check out of the room and casually mention to the front desk clerk that the glass on the table broke and to please charge us on the bill for the damage....

He misunderstood us......thinking we broke "A" glass he added zwei dollars to the

bill.....Husband in his best English said....

Thank You......and we quickly departed out the front door.....

40 years later and we are still laughing at

"zwei Cola-Cola mit ice-n"....